im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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