Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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