Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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