why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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