where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
