I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
