I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize