Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
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