i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
