I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize