Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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