Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
