Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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