Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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