well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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