I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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