i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
