can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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