brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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