is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
