he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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