oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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