dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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