You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I want to make a zoo with you.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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