Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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