first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
