I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
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well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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