You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
we made out on top of his cat.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
That accounts for only three of the penises
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
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