Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
