So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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