The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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