omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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