I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
