i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
