Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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