All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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