he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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