I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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