You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
