just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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