that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Found your dick twin last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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