Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)

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  (313): Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-) http://tfl.nu/swbw
  Replies (3) Good night (796) Bad night (806)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  You mean inside out.

  (302): View more from Delaware

  No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.

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  (302): I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down. (1-302): You mean inside out. (302): No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist. http://tfl.nu/eio3
  Replies (20) Good night (7667) Bad night (1051)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.

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  (609): I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak. http://tfl.nu/euel
  Replies (35) Good night (679) Bad night (1951)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.

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  (502): She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her. http://tfl.nu/ymnu
  Replies (36) Good night (4771) Bad night (1020)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet

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  (478): she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet http://tfl.nu/g772
  Replies (14) Good night (3894) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins

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  (305): just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins http://tfl.nu/ypgx
  Replies (27) Good night (3882) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.

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  (734): Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month. http://tfl.nu/t4ti
  Replies (14) Good night (4514) Bad night (808)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.

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  (727): I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place. http://tfl.nu/vbxd
  Replies (18) Good night (5996) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night

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  (617): Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night http://tfl.nu/jx5s
  Replies (13) Good night (6618) Bad night (1008)
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  (980): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?

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  (980): Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew? http://tfl.nu/j4qs
  Replies (12) Good night (2673) Bad night (690)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.

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  (973): How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow... (862): This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am. http://tfl.nu/nxs7
  Replies (0) Good night (1278) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud

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  (718): I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud http://tfl.nu/ci86
  Replies (1) Good night (774) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..

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  (306): I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights. (1-306): I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year.. http://tfl.nu/9s2f
  Replies (2) Good night (1138) Bad night (281)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  .It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort

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  (978): .It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort http://tfl.nu/ljpb
  Replies (1) Good night (298) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.

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  (678): Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature. http://tfl.nu/4fv9
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (262)

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