9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
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I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
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I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top