So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
