i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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