i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
