good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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