She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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