Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
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