I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
