Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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