he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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