Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
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Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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