I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
