I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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