And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
