just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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