she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
These tits shall not be calmed
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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