i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
