So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
do herpes really smell.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
